three hours of morning

i'll go ahead and admit right now that i tend to borrow the future.  i borrow the anticipation, the worry, the joy, and the sorrow.  just a little bit ~ i'm too busy to wallow for long.  so, these days, with college visits, driver's permits & (soon) licenses, waning days of middle school (youngest), and looming final year of high school (eldest), i am borrowing their leaving.  just a little.  to test the waters, perhaps.  and catch a glimpse of the next handful (or, more likely, two handfuls) of years as life see-saws into a new equilibrium.

5:30 in the morning...ready for an all-day band competition out of town.

i don't pine for the past (when 5:30 in the morning might have been the fourth time i was up that night, detailed with sleep-deprived intensity on a desperate note stuck to the bathroom mirror), but it was precious.  irreplaceable.  (& more than a little hazy, if i'm being completely truthful.)  but i'm, also, not wishing anything away because i think i finally understand that now is...well, it simply is.  it is where i am...the only place i want to be ~ with the people i love the most.

7:30 in the morning...heading to a college-admission test.

it's been happening more & more.  these moments, hours, rarely an entire day (but that is swiftly approaching) when we are, once again, two.  just two of us.

8:30 in the morning...breakfast for two.

 

i'm pretty sure we're going to have fun.

especially if all the biscuits are this big.