so there's a metaphor here.
or, perhaps, i'm simply searching for one
-as humans do-
in order to make sense
of something
that seems to have little.
here's my story
& i'm sticking to it.
this spring, i planted zinnia seeds.
multitudes of them!
because last year the only flowers that survived the rabbits
were the zinnias.
so, this year
this year!
an entire plot of zinnias!
it would be
so very beautiful.
and it made so much sense.
until the rabbits
ate every single
little sprout.
it was a dry, hot summer.
what's a rabbit to do?
but, me?
i obligingly watered
where the zinnias had been.
(of course i did.)
(i am a woman of my word.)
& hoped for miracles.
or pretty weeds.
sometimes all you can wish for
are pretty weeds.
& this is okay.
the weeds need water, too.
day after day
week after week
month after month
watering the weeds.
looking at the weeds.
searching the weeds.
trying to enjoy
the weeds.
until today.
when i saw three
amazing
beautiful
well-watered
zinnias.
they were going to be so beautiful.
that field full of zinnias.
i worked so hard for them.
planned so logically for them.
it made
so much sense.
i deserved those zinnias.
it turns out
i did get some zinnias.
it wasn't when i thought i would.
i didn't get as many as i had planted.
not even close.
but i worked damn hard
for those three flowers.
& next year?
next year i will put a million seeds in the ground
and put a rabbit-proof fence around the whole damn thing.
