learning how to parent is like learning how to draw with a spirograph. you get your pieces all set up, with the little push-pins holding down that outer ring, fit the teeth of your chosen circle (or oval, when you get really good at it) into the teeth of the ring, push your pen tip through the hole, and then slowly try to figure out the exact, precise amount of pressure, speed, and angle to both progress the circle around the curve at a smooth, steady pace and actually have the pen make continuous contact with the paper. things slip, the teeth skip, and you are left with a muddle of wonky, wobbly, jerky crisscrossing lines - that look nothing like the fantastic designs on the spirograph brochure. but! once you master this art (and the stars align just so), nothing can stop you! the hypnotic rhythm of the spirograph is like being pulled along in a dosey doe.
until you realize, HEY, i've caught my pen on this tear in the paper before! or, that's right, when i turn the pen too much to the right, the ink gives out! or, hmmmm, this circle is just going around and around and around and i have no idea how to get off this ride.
it's the "wait, i've done this before...only different" moment that keeps recurring for me in parenting. followed by "gah!! i thought we were DONE with that." ending with, "sigh....okay, let's learn this one...again." and i'm talking about me learning. right now, i'm learning (once again) that micro-management is really over-management and is.not.good. for anyone. it enables, frustrates, and wastes time. some things are have-to's. but most things simply are not. & i keep forgetting.
so, i'm going to try to remember how to navigate around the tear in the paper, the best way to turn the pen, and to get off the ride the very first moment i start to feel the slightest bit queasy. at least until next time.
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| so much potential! |
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| a multitude of choices! |
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| anyone? no limit? awesome. |
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| note instructions for optimal pen usage |
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| a perfect mesh... |
